About Me

My photo
Graduate trying out life on the other side of the world.. stay tuned.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

"Liiife is liiike a box of chocolates.."

Now when I think of this quote I do generally laugh purely because I cannot say this phrase without actually trying to do an hilariously bad impression of Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, which- I hasten to add did not make me cry when I watched it- neither did Bambi when I watched it for that matter. I just didn't see what the big fuss was about and could totally understand why he had shot the Mummy so he could have a yummy dinner. Like I said, I can be cold hearted bitch at times. Or just REALLY rational. Other times, I can be really very irrational.

Actually, that's a serious understatement. Hysterical springs to mind.

A few people have said they are looking forward to reading more positive blogs in the future- and to be honest I hadn't realised that I had been sounding so incredibly boring and having a serious case of "I hate my life" syndrome. For this, I apologise!

I am bouncing back (rather like Bambi... Before his Mother was shot..) with some absolutely marvellous news. No, I have not won the lottery, but feel like a million dollars. I passed my driving test! Oh yes indeed, I have been unleashed onto the roads. Watch out general public and sheep, here I come! I will add here it was my second time round- but you know what they say, first the worst, SECOND THE BEST, third the one with the hairy chest..

Now when I had been told I had passed my driving test, I screamed and actually hugged the assessor. He was quite in shock. To be frank, I was in shock that they had taken me on a totally roundabout-free test route. Roundabouts are not my friend. 'nuff said.. talk about luck!

I also, on the same day, got a job! YES! SCORE! BACK OF THE NET! I know, miracles do sometimes happen.. the job may not be ideal, as it is part time and on a fixed term contract, however, it is THE job I wildly dreamt about whilst previously being a stairlift-selling-machine. Hence why I am just so thrilled to have been offered this role. And utterly still in shock about recent events. 

Truth is, Hanks was so right wasn't he. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. You could be really very disappointed in managing to get the Turkish delight filled one every single chuffin' time the box was passed to you, (I speak from experience- trust me, so. much. disappointment.) you could pick out the disgusting coffee ones- or the vile "champagne" truffle which almost puts you off chocolate forever as it causes so much bitter emotional turmoil- or you could just get lucky and select the absolutely divine caramel and hazelnut filled chocolate which just makes you happy and all warm and fluffy on the inside. We all keep on picking and delving into the second layer before finishing the first layer- despite chocolate eating being a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

I still maintain my impression of Hanks in that film is second to none though. You guys just aren't on my "artistic" and "talented" level.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Viva Espana!

So, here I am, sat in my lovely stark, white box empty apartment on the last night before moving out tomorrow. And it wasn't until just now that I thought, crikey- I've been made redundant, I am one of those stats and I'm moving back to my parents. Now, I want to move back to my parents for a while. They'll be glad to know that I won't be staying FOREVER. (Or maybe I will. *evil laugh*) I think, and I am sure the rents know this, that moving back for a while will do me the world of good. To really get my head straight and focus on something decidedly non stairlift related. The past month has given me thinking space as it is and I'm already much clearer about what I wanna do.

Well. I know- kind of- vaguely what my realistic options are right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to achieve them. I take extreme comfort in the fact that those around me seem to have more confidence in my abilities than I do myself- take my Dad for example- he emails me regularly with jobs that he thinks I'd like- and I hope that he thinks I'm capable of doing- and I've taken it as a compliment that the jobs he has been emailing me are things that look rather challenging- or as I like to think about things like this- really get my teeth into. I used that phrase in an interview this week and the panel looked mildly bemused at my idea of my approach to a hard job- and my enthusiasm for said job. They looked at me like I was a deluded crazed scientist in fabulous heels.

Or the fact that my friends- you know who you are- and my rather fabulous Mum come to think of it seemed  totally unfazed by my serious worries about getting another job- to the point where I felt like shouting sometimes- DO YOU NOT READ THE PAPER? OR WATCH THE NEWS? THESE ARE BAD TIMES FOR UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE! Now I hasten to add I have not yet found another job- and have been putting off signing on for as long as possible. Yeah, yeah, I know it's 'free money'- but as soon as I sign on I know I will feel like a failure and to be quite frank- like a sack of good for nothing shit. Depressing thought. I know I'm all about keeping positive and optimistic recently- but there inevitably comes a point when I will think, what the flip will I ever achieve? Does ANYBODY read that application I sent off about 6 weeks ago?

Thing is, for an unemployed person, I am still incredibly busy- and I had the thought the other day- how did I manage to work and fit all this stuff in before the dreaded 'R' word?

I think maybe I'll just sack the lot, and move to Spain and live a totally idealistic life of eating Tapas and having Siestas and drinking far too much Sangria.

Anyone care to join?

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Money matters

Now, I generally think money and friendships don't really go together- they're not a match made in heaven like Tomato and Basil... but more like pouring salt in your morning coffee instead of the sugar badly craved at an ungodly hour. But it is inevitable that at times in our life they will cross each others paths. You know the drill- one person helps a mate out of a sticky situation- cos that's what mates do isn't it really, and it's done on the basis that they'll give the money back when they can.  

I myself have borrowed money from a friend when things look a bit sticky and, similarly I have lent money to friends when they have needed it. This goes without saying, and generally I have never had any problems with this on both sides of the fence. But what happens when it all goes a little bit wrong? (You'll be glad to know I almost resisted the urge to say when it all goes a bit Pete Tong..)Say, a friend borrows money off another to pay their impending electricity bill, but then goes and blows a fair amount on that absolutely-must-have-dress-from-Topshop the next week before paying said friend back?

How on earth would you deal with that? Seriously? I have never been in that situation and doubt I ever will be. But for me certainly, I have serious issues with confrontation when it comes to my nearest and dearest. I avoid it at all costs. In the workplace I certainly have no issues in defending my own work, or indeed looking to others who perhaps need to buck their ideas up- I know how to deal with that no problem. That may sound like a cold hearted bitch approach but the truth is I have no serious emotional attachments to colleagues. Yes, I will work with them and have a great working relationship with them and socialise with them- but there's a barrier perhaps with colleagues that is hard to cross. 

When it comes to matters of family and friendships I become a shadow of myself, because the truth is, I value them way too much to lose them over something so petty as why they never gave me the twenty quid lent to them a gazillion years ago. It's the very thought of maybe risking that relationship that leaves me quaking in my boots, or rather, quaking in my Louboutins. Would it really be worth losing a friendship because of something so petty? I think not.

But we all have *those* friends and in fact, relatives, that will bring up every single thing lent to you, from the 20p to make up your bus fare, to the top you borrowed after you spilt red wine down yourself before a night out. I wouldn't be surprised if these people keep a log book of everything and tick things off in red marker pen upon return. It really makes me wonder whether they ever stop to think about the time you were there ready and waiting in the wings to happily lend them the DVD they so badly wanted to watch, but they never returned, or the times you were there at their doorstep with a bottle of wine (or in many cases, tequila. Let's not lie to ourselves about our alcohol consumption now.) and refused any contribution. 

Now I am happy to say that these people are really few and far between, and I have never really encountered any in my fabulous friendship group- but if any of (the few that do read this..) you reading this are one of those described above, just stop to think that you can never really put a value on friendship and it should never concern anything as petty as point scoring or penny pinching. 

Rant over. Official.