Okay, so I have been a little quiet on the whole blog scene in the past few weeks, truth is, I couldn't face writing one. I think it's quite an honest blog and I wasn't quite ready to tell the few (lovely) people that actually read this that I have been made redundant at the grand old age of 22.. nightmare. Think I have aged considerably in the past month, those lines on my face have definitely deepened.. time to break out the anti-ageing miracle worker I think.
Now, I am much more practical about recent events, and to be honest much more grounded about the whole situation. I'm the first to admit when I found out I was an absolute hysterical mess.. my parents, closest friends and my now ex employer will back me up on this. Recently, and especially since graduating, I have felt much more able to deal with bad situations, to keep a calm head whilst paddling furiously underneath. (The analogy of a swan springs to mind, but I think swans are vicious creatures so won't use that one here..) however when this news landed I was inconsolable. Actually, I was a different person. I felt my whole world had turned upside down, topsy turvy and backwards all at the same time. You wouldn't've wanted to be in my head that day, I could barely cope with it myself. Most of all I hated that I had given in to those, in my eyes, 'weak' emotions.
But as my dear colleague said, it is called being human. (I quickly packed away my superhero cloak as all hopes of being superhuman were dashed)
My Mother, the wise woman she is, and indeed those closest to me have all been great and full of pearls of wisdom since. This, I must keep telling myself IS an opportunity, not a catastrophe but a minor blip. I have come round to that way of thinking I must admit- and I realised myself that I never ever said when a young girl, mummy, when I grow up I wanna sell stairlifts because, let's face it, nobody ever does. Unless you're a stairlift fanatic, which, if you are- get a life would you?!
The job was far from perfect, but I was proud of what I had achieved during my time there, I guess I did feel I could give much more to the organisation but never really had the chance to. I have gained much experience from it- achieving a managerial role straight out of uni something I was incredibly proud of, and still am I guess.
More than anything, I'm pissed off at the life I won't have anymore and that I have had to give it up involuntarily. I'm fiercely independent and loved having my own flat and 'being a grown up'.
But I know in my heart I want to go home for a while to recharge those batteries and focus on doing something I love for a job, and enjoy the fresh countryside air and help around the house.
There really is no point to this post except it provides somewhere for me to air my thoughts- which thankfully, are now much more grounded and less hysterical.
Well, maybe one thing- if you hear of any jobs..