It has become increasingly clear to me over the past few months that I am one of those people that find it hard to say no to people. In terms of asking me what I'm up to and if I fancy going over, to maybe going out for dinner or having one too many drinks- from the small things if somebody asks if they mind changing the TV channel to the bigger things, say, if I want to go and visit them whether it's in the UK or not..
Now, Most of these things are amazing, and a few years ago I wouldn't be surprised if I hadn't done all the things I have achieved to date- I used to say no to things which constantly left me wondering after why the hell I had ever said no to doing some of those things I got asked to do- or even not asked just a simple, 'hey, you up for it?' I think maybe this all changed when I went on the hideously stereotypical Gap-Yah to, yes, you guessed it- South America. That is the first thing I can pinpoint that I thought yeah, sure, why not? To be honest I never thought it would happen. It's pretty obvious I was seriously mistaken by that particular thought.
I think maybe I've taken this a little too far- and quite literally saying yes to everything I am asked to do- jamming everything into my diary to the point where I think the diary might burst open with appointments. This is no bad thing, and I'm not complaining about it- I have learnt that I am definitely one of those people that thrive off being busy- and perhaps it is a knee jerk reaction to my job, which, is a great job, and don't get me wrong, I secretly love it- but can get a little mundane and lonesome at times, so I'm rebelling in some way against that and filling my free time in every way I can.
I am definitely one of those people that would not be content twiddling their thumbs. Some would say I'm highly strung and high maintenance, whereas I like to think of it as highly motivated and social..
I think I'm still learning the ropes of this unbeknown thing to me called the middle ground. For example- I landed back from my (fantastic) holiday, jumped straight on a train back up to Manchester without even a caffeine stop and got home pretty exhausted. I did consider getting up and going to my volunteering role I do two days a week the next day. My friends advised me not to. I, for once, took the advise and did nothing all day (except unpack, do washing and have a driving lesson). It was kinda nice- BUT I certainly haven't learnt from it, as my housemate will vouch for me.
Maybe I should though, just to try and lower the blood pressure a little. But I certainly won't be doing it in the next two weeks. People may have to book me about 4 weeks in advance for a coffee.
This whole thing about actually having a life is bloody hard work. But I wouldn't change it for the world.